Just remember the Red River Valley

I remember this one time, when the weather was supposed to be nice, and only a chance of isolated flurries. They were wrong. It snowed all fricking day, and it was colder than -1. I am no meteorologist, but maybe I should be. No stress, no consequence for improper forecasting. Any other forecaster who is inconsistently wrong would either be stoned to death, or have their thumbs cut off by the mob. Moving on.

6:00 Alarm rings. Hit snooze 3 times
6:30 Hop out of bed. Eat bowl of mini wheats. Pack lunch.
7:00 Start truck. Wipe snow off truck. Some lady comes over and asks if I can push her car out of her parking spot.
7:10 I can't. So I get a shovel and call Adam to come dig her out. See, I am a good person. Always helping those in need.
7:15 Adam arrives. Digs her out. I help push the car.
7:40 Arrive at site. Sit in basement. Del arrives shortly thereafter. Shoot the breeze.
8:15 Start work. Snowing like a banchhorse. Work inside. Work on vault walls with Del. Adam does strapping and backing and insulation stops.
9:13 Adam starts with the "your mama" jokes. Kevin isn't here, so someone needs to fill the quota.
10:00 Coffee. "I had your mom out for coffee". Really Adam, was it nice? Ate some mango slices, vanilla sesame snaps, and an apple. Drank some water. "Your mom drank some water".
10:30 Back to work. Frame in California door header, and then build the insulation wall in front of the beam. Built some scaffolding too.
10:45 "your mom would cut me a 2x4"
10:49 "your mom would go get me some nails"
10:58 "your mom is so fat, that when she jump for joy, she get stuck".
11:15 "1973 called, it wants your mom's hair back". Really Adam, will my mom support you when you are unemployed?
11:16 "just got off the phone with your mom. She said she will".
12:30 Lunch. Spaghetti, from Mama ("your mom") Michelina. Also had a bar, and 459 ml of water.
1:30 Back to work. Cut some wood for Del. Cut nothing for Adam.
2:15 Adam went up into the trusses, and I took his ladder away.
2:16 "your mom would get me down from here".
3:00 I tell Del and Adam a funny story about myself that will never be shared here, because it will harm my macho image.
4:30 Roll up says Del calmly
4:45 "Del, do you hear something?" ("your mom will know you left me here"). "No Todd, I hear nothing but the gentle whisper of the wind".
5:15 Arrive home.
5:30 Eat supper. Pizza.
7:00 Give son snack.
7:15 Give son bath.
7:30 Put son to bed.
7:45 Look out window. Thought I saw Adam's 1976 Toyota T-100 slowly driving by. Did he manage to free himself from his wooden prison? Did he actually call my mom?
7:50 Wipe all fears from my mind by watching "In the name of the King". The cover looks so cool, and it has England's sweetheart Jason Statham in it.
9:50 Finish movie. Grieve that I will never get these two hours of my life back. I could have been rocking, or watching paint dry.
10:00 Do dishes.
11:03 Write this line.
11:15 Shower
11:30 Go to sleep

Adam wishes good night to all of your moms. I will not be so rude, and bid you all adieu.